Ten Commandment of God ( Exodus 20 : 2-17 ) 1. I am the LORD your God, who brought you out of Egypt, out of the land of slavery 2. Worship no God but me 3. You shall not misuse the name of the LORD your God 4. Remember the Sabbath day by keeping it holy 5. Honor your father and your mother 6. You shall not murder 7. You shall not commit adultery. 8. You shall not steal. 9. You shall not give false testimony against your neighbor 10.You shall not covet your neighbor's house. Let God's Word and my Life to portray what God can and had done in your life by His Authority Let All Rejoice for God Almighty

Thursday, May 17, 2007

Haix...I have done so many wrong things that now I guess Lord is Angry with me.
I use harsh words in my email. And know What I get? A distance increased between the sec 3s and me. I feel that I no longer understand the Sec 3s. They don't seem to be the sec 3s I know. They have let me feel that my job as a CI has failed. A failure CI on the course.
Many symptoms which I feel is coming from above though there is nothing proven on that. I feel that I had done God a diservice, I let God down. Everything around me just didn't seem to do well. This is especially so in my 'A' level School Practical Assessment ( H2 Chemistry )... I screwed it up.. I was so disappointed with myself.

Lord, I am so sorry for all the sins that I had committed. Lord, I seek Your Forgiveness and that You may forgive me of my sins. I also pray, in Your name, that my life will be back to normal and that I may get Your blessing of wisdom in my coming Block Test and Promotional Examination. I pray, in Your name, for blessings upon my parents that they will come to know you and know about You that they will never say that You brainwash me but You saved me. I pray, in Your name that my career in NPCC and Fencing will be able to soar high. I pray, in Your name that You may blessed each and everyone of them to be good NCOs though I may be a failure CI. Amen

Signed Off @9:27 PM

Sunday, May 13, 2007

DEAR LORD, HEAVENLY FATHER,

I AM VERY DISAPPOINTED AND SAD AND ANGRY. WHEN I RECEIVE THE EMAIL ON THE NPCC TRAINING PROGRAM LAST NIGHT, I COMMENTED AS I COULD NOT SEE THE EFFORT PUT IN. THIS IS ESPECIALLY SO WHEN THE CUT AND PASTE WAS NOT NICELY DONE AND THE TEMPLATE FOR THE LESSON PLAN WAS ALL NOT THERE. ALL THE COMPONENTS!
I THOUGHT I HAD CLEARLY SPELT OUT IN MY 1ST EMAIL, THEN IT CAME AGAIN AND HARSH WORDS WERE USED. BUT THEY COULD NOT UNDERSTAND! THEY EVEN CONFRONTED ME AND SAID THAT WHO I THINK I AM? LISTEN TO ME JUST BECAUSE OF MY RANK. I WAS SO ANGRY AT THAT POINT OF TIME, IF YOU CAN DO THE THINGS I NEED TO DO, YOU BE CI, I WILL M.I.A ON THE SPOT. YOU ARE SO GOOD, DO ALL THE THINGS YOURSELF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!@!!!@!!
I WAS SO SAD THAT MY WORD WAS NOT A CONVICTION BUT A CONDEMNATION. CONVICTION TO TELL THEM HOW THINGS WORK OUT NEXT TIME. CONDEMNATION TO CRITICISE THEM. HOW I WISH I WAS NEVER YOUR CI!!!!!!!!!
I WAS EVEN MORE DISAPPOINTED IN MYSELF. I HAD FAILED AS A CI. I FAILED TO GROOM THE JUNIORS TO THE ONE I WISH THEY WILL BE. I AM USELESS. NO ONE LISTENS TO ME ANY MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!
O LORD, I WAS DISAPPOINTED. I PRAY THAT YOU MAY ALLOW ME TO GO. TO GO INTO THE WORLD OF YOURS TO LIVE WITH YOU AND EAT WITH YOU LITERALLY WHERE THERE ARE NO PAINS, NO FEELINGS. MY HEARTS HAS BECOME HARDER AND HARDER AS THIS HAD DRILLED ME.
LORD, THOUGH I KNOW THIS IS A LEARNING POINT FOR ME BUT I CAN'T HELP FEELING THE ANGER AND DISAPPOINTMENT. I PRAY THAT YOU MAY BRING ME TO YOUR WORLD AND LEAD ME TO A LIFE WHERE THESE PAINS MAY BE ALLEVIATED. I AM TIRED. I NEED A REST FROM ALL THIS MATTERS. LORD, GRANT ME THAT WISH. IN JESUS' NAME I PRAY, AMEN.
I ALSO PRAY THIS IN THE NAME OF THE FATHER, THE SON AND OF THE HOLY SPIRIT, AMEN

Signed Off @9:04 PM

Tuesday, May 01, 2007

Wow...Haven't been blogging for quite some time le..
Let me juz let all know what I had done bah.
Econs test on 26/04/2007 was a failure man. Father, I don't know why I couldn't concentrate to study. Seriously on 27/04/2007, PI submission, I was damn worried. I didn't have the thumb drive to edit. I was damn worried. Especially in PW meeting 2dae, my PI was a total failure of explaination. I was utterly disappointed in myself
on 28-30 April, I was having a lot of fun, playing mahjong and stuff. Though I may lose some money on the table, I was satisfied as I didn't played to my hearts contents the last time. only these days. Father, I thank you for answering the prayer. I prayed then for everyone not to have food poisoning and blessing for everyone. Father, I praise You. Hallelujah.

FAther, Lord,

I couldn't help feeling helpless and nothing to hold on to. Sins are committed in a moment of folly. I prayed that Father and Lord, You may forgive me of my sins and bless friends around me. Something that bugged me for very long. That was none other than my studies. I was utterly disappointed in my studies. Everyone in my class said how good I am and stuff. I really want to tell them off that I am actually not that great. Even my TESTs are in a mess now. I seriously don't know what to do. Why didn't I live up to the name I was given? It was just a title which I couldn't achieve yet people keep saying that. I am really afraid that I am going to be a failure forever and ever, especially the BLOCK TEST that is coming up as well as the SPA coming up this and next week. Father and Lord, I pray that You may allow the Holy Spirit to befall me and flow within me to guide me. Lord, HELP Me!!
I pray in the name of the Father, the Son and of the Holy Spirit, Amen

Signed Off @8:53 PM